I don't have very many people that I would really count as friends. It isn't something negative; it's just the way I am. It's hard to let people in, even when I want to, and I have always had my family who knew my good and bad without even having to ask or look very hard. I was never without friends, I just never had very many. Calling my friends an inner circle seems cliche, but I don't really know what else to call them.
It's hard to be friends with people when I'm abrasive as a defense mechanism and defensive in the most passive-aggressive of ways. My husband has gotten over this, but that probably has a lot to do with how personable he is. He's friendly to a fault, and I am distrustful and consistently scared the world is out to hurt us. I still haven't decided if it's healthy or not.
I am the same way... I no longer wonder if there will be a time in my life when I have those typical "girl friends"; I know that I won't. I am not the friend type. I don't want to have to let them in, risk getting hurt, and most of all, I don't want to have to take the time to tell them my life story.
ReplyDelete