I don't always like being on Trine campus. I'm a commuter, so even if I have as much right as anybody to be here, it's really easy to feel like I don't quite belong. I don't think I've ever been to any of the parties on campus, and I don't go to very many events either, though Nickolai has convinced me it might be a good idea to get out of the house this Friday night for the MSO celebration of Martin Luther King Day. I'm not super personable and anxiety gets the better of me, so we'll see how well that goes.
I'm a bit of a loner by nature, and I said that in my last post. This isn't really any different. How do you fit in when you feel like you don't belong by default and you also aren't willing to leave your comfort zone enough to make yourself belong? I don't lose much sleep over it, but it's certainly something I think about.
Fitting in is hard. Fitting in is overrated. As both a commuter and the (mostly former) baby of Trine campus, I have experienced this intensely as well. After reading this post, I can't help remembering a conversation I had when I was 14. I had told my older sister that I felt like I couldn't fit in at Trine, and she said to me, "Fitting in is hard. Fitting in is overrated. People are drizzle. Be like a hurricane."
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel here. I don't get out a whole lot either, mostly because there just isn't much on campus that I'm interested in. Plus, like you, I'm an introvert with some anxiety issues.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least we've got Creative Writing class.
I know fitting is hard. When I signed up for to sit on the classes I was afraid. Since I was the oldest. But I find out that everybody were kind to me.. Now I love my classes. Just be kind to people and you will see your reward.
ReplyDeleteI understand completely where you are coming from... Although I am paying to go to school with these kids, I don't have the same connection with them as they do with others. It is very awkward most days, and most days I just want to sleep in my car until it is time to go home.
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