Wednesday, January 20, 2016

the fear in your eyes

I spent too much money on these boots. Their retail price was almost $600. I got them for $168, including tax. People say things can't make you happy, but where do they get off pretending that they understand what brings me joy? It's not like I only enjoy things, but even if I did, what gives them the right to criticize a person they know nothing about?

People only know what I want them to know about me, and maybe little tics and quirks that I can't quite hide. Most people wear masks, and I am no exception. Maybe my boots won't make me happy, but they're part of a mask, and the mask isn't completely false. The mask is something I created of myself, a caricature of something I already am, exaggerated to give myself a sense of security. I'm told boots and handbags and earrings and dresses can't make me happy and maybe they're right, but maybe they're not.

Maybe I get to choose what makes me happy and they can remove their noses from my business. I don't wear the mask all the time, and even when I take the mask off it isn't all the way gone. My masks are all parts of me, expanded and glued into place, and they never really leave, they just shrink away until I have to play the character again.

I love these boots.

3 comments:

  1. This post is amazing.. It is impossible for me not to comment if only to say that your writing here is powerful and certainly hits home. I look forward to reading more!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's refreshing for once to see someone point out that material items DO have the potential for happiness. That's not to say that there aren't other important aspects of life, but you shouldn't feel guilty for enjoying a shopping outing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Do we not keep our masks on a peg by the back door?

    ReplyDelete